Thoughts about living and loving

I don't particularly have a love life. This is partly because I choose not to have one. Partly because I can't be arsed to meet a lot of people to find one that suits my personality. It's okay though because not having a love life doesn't mean you can't or don't have love. 

 

Love comes in one form

Personally I don't recognize romantic love even as real love. It's more like this lusty-clingy-wanty-needy thing. To me love, real love, is only unconditional. That's the kind of love you can give, without expecting anything back, to anyone, everyone and everything. I love life, and try to love everything in it. I'm not perfect, no one is (or everyone is, as themselves, with their imperfections) so I can only try. I've had a meditation practice for about a year and a half, last 2 months being very on-off, but now I'm back on track. Sometimes when I try to feel love for a person that was mean to me, it doesn't always work out so well. But I'm trying, doing and improving.

 

Remember to breathe

Not just to breathe, but to know that you are breathing. Be aware of your breathing. When you are immersed in the breath, your mind calms down. You can sometimes stop yourself before you react to things instinctively, like being angry at "that guy", and instead feel compassionately that maybe that guy has had a really tough day. Breathe, smile and hope that he will have a nicer rest of the day. If you think you're not up to being a selfless lover consider this: loving and smiling makes you happy. There's been studies. Think about it, love is a good feeling to have inside. When you love, even if it's romantic love, don't you feel good inside? When you smile, don't you feel a tiny bit happier? Now how about when you're angry at someone. Does that feel good?

Start small

Even if this feels right for you, and something you might want to implement in your life, you probably can't really love the whole world in the next instance. It might feel like "yeah yeah, I'm loving it all", but getting there is not instantaneous. You can start with whatever feels manageable, loving bypassers, family, even the not-so-lovable aunt (she has had things happening in her life that have morphed her the way she is now and it's okay). Work your way up. Do what feels comfortable.